You Don’t Need Anyone Who Doesn’t Need You

Over the last few weeks I have been doing a lot of traveling; to the Maldives, London, Kenya, and Amsterdam.  Its been a wonderful time and suprisingly very freeing and invogorating for me, more than usual this time around.

What I have noticed is that when I am in places far from where the majority of  the people I know are, it somehow gives me a sense of freedom. The time change suddenly makes it more challenging keeping in touch all the time and actually I really like that.  It’s trips like these that make me stop and think about who is in my life and whether they are worth my time and effort to keep in touch with them.  Sounds harsh I know, but considering all the heartache and lost friendships over the last few months, I am paying more attention to who is in my life and whether they deserve my attention, care and respect.

What I end up discovering is who really cares about me enough to reach out and ask how I am doing and what I am up to. And those that don’t, well I get used to the idea of letting them go and let time continue to pass without them. Physical distance from it all helps this process a lot.  There becomes less of a need to constanctly be in contact with someone, as I learn to be happy with my own company and just enjoy the moment.

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Thus this quote by Marilyn Monroe is so fitting.  I don’t need people in my life who don’t need me or appreciate having me in theirs. It’s as simple as that.  If they want me in their life they will make the effort to keep me there, not by me pushing myself on them. What I can say is that it’s not exactly a fun process, as you realize just how few people in your life actually care and want to continue being in it, which is a hard pill to swallow.  However, it creates space in your heart and life to let new and better people in.

But the most important take away from this quote is that with relationships it needs to be reciprocal, and if not then its time to say goodbye and move on.  Not easy by any means; definitely not fun feeling alone, but I have to trust and believe that it will all be worth it in the end.

For me, it’s these kinds of trips, in different environments, physically separated from life at home that brings it all to the forefront.  For every person it is something different that will bring about these realisations, but it’s important to go through this process occasionally so that you end up with the best people around you.  The ones that actually care, support you and are worthy of your time.

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